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Sgt Frog Abridged - Episode 12 (script)
The following is unedited from the original document except for formatting. Lines may have been rewritten during recording and/or editing. Script Kululu: *Tired, frustrated, desperate and breathing heavily* Hhhggghhh… six months… left to die in a box… and all of a sudden… everyone forgets I’m here… Well that’s fine… we’re all gonna be killed anyway… Damnit… I’ve wasted my life working for these idiots… *Gets louder and dramatic* Kululu: And I’ve had it, Keroro! I’m not taking this shit anymore! Giroro: STOP TOUCHING MY ASS! *Shows Giroro holding Keroro by the neck* Keroro, Giroro: Wait, what? Giroro: *Points* How long has Kululu been here?! *Cuts to Kululu putting things into backpack* Keroro: No way, Kululu! As leader of the Keroro Platoon, I command you not to leave! Kululu: Did you just give an order? Keroro: Why you little-! *Tantrum* Look, if you leave you’re gonna grow an evil moustache and our progress will be for nothing! Kululu: What progress? Keroro: There you go again!!! Kululu: Oh cool it, Keroro. You make it sound like I’m out to get you or someth- *cut to Kululu tied up and hanging from ceiling* Okay you guys are fucked up. Keroro: *Turns to Pururu* What do you think, Doctor? Pururu: I think your platoon is addicted to rope. Dororo: Even though I was there when it happened, I feel we should respect Kululu’s wishes, Keroro. He’s earned the right to be angry. Tamama: You have ADHD, you sleep around, you’re not as good in bed as you think you are, and you smell like a doorstop. Keroro: What the fuck, Tamama?! Tamama: Isn’t this an intervention? Keroro: For Kululu! Mine was yesterday! Tamama: Oh, Kululu! Ummm, stop staring at my lotion? Giroro: Look Keroro, if Kululu sticks around he’s only going to hate you even more. It’s probably the better idea to let him go. Pururu: If anything, we could let him rest somewhere and cool off. Do you know anyone who gets ignored a lot? Keroro: Aha! *Smarmy* We’re gonna send you on a little vacation! *Cut to Momoka* Keroro: Look who wanted to see his favorite…water park! Momoka: *Uneasy* Hmm… *Turns to Paul* Paul: NNNOPE! *Explosion in the distance* Momoka: *Nervous* I don’t know, guys. We’re kinda busy *getting angry* repairing my room! Keroro: *Nasally* But if you take him in, we’ll give you some coupoooons! Momoka: *Gasp!* Fuyuki coupons!!! *Steady build-up* He’ll clean my ears, he’ll talk in them, we’ll eat together, we’ll brush our teeth and he’ll scream me to sleep – I’LL TAKE IT! *Cuts to Kululu lounging in chair* George Albert Nishizawa: *Pissed off on phone* Well shoot his fucking blimps! And fire that idiot you put in charge of the commercial- He sounds like he was dying! And who the hell listens to radio anymore! Kululu: Heh, heh…coupoooons! *Cuts to Momoka* Momoka: Daddy, Kululu has some really great ideas for your business! George: *Takes off glasses* Name one. Kululu: *Dramatic* Expiration dates. *Pause, cut to plane* George: I don’t know who this “Stephen Morrissey” fellow is, but he’s going to make us lots of money! *Meeting* George: Gentlemen, as you can see… they’re pissing on us. But I’ve got a man who will save this business! A man who flush their business right into the ground! Please welcome… Mr. K. *Paul walks up* Stockholder: Oh god, the butler. Oh god oh god oh god! Kululu: *Dramatic* Hello, my friends! People: *Bored* Hiii, Mr. Kayyyyy… Kululu: Shall we get started? *Cuts to Dororo watching a video* Keroro: Hey, do you have any DVDs that aren’t as depressing as you? Dororo: I have this one my dad made for me. Keroro: What’s it about? Dororo: My dad. Sitting around for 16 hours. Keroro: That’s a “no”. *Walks out* Dororo: He told me if I watched all 16 hours he’d come back. *Cuts to Keroro walking through Kululu’s lab* Keroro: *To himself* Well now that Kululu’s not here, let’s see what I can steal. Ooh, what’s this? “DVD, Don’t watch” *Gasp!* There’s no rating! *Sinister* Awww yeah… *Cuts to him sitting on the chair* Keroro: Alright. Play, sit, naughtyyyy… *Hums Courage music as video starts* Kululu: *Voice over* This is my movie. This is my kanji. This is my static. *Static* Keroro: Oh what the hell! Agh, *eating popcorn, speaking gibberish* What kind of fucking idiot has a DVD with nothing on it- *Tiger Horse turns, Keroro stands in silence* Tiger Horse: KEEEEEY LIME P- Keroro: AAAGH! *Closes door* What the hell was that?! Egh… *Slowly opens door again* Tiger Horse: PIIIIIIE- Keroro: *Worried sounds* *Closes door, holds sinuses* Kululu, when you get back from quitting you’re so fired. Fuyuki: Hey Sarge! Keroro: AAGH! I’m allergic to Limes-! Oh Fuyuki, thank god! Fuyuki: I don’t scare you that much, do I Sarge? Keroro: Well… wait a minute, didn’t you see a weird spider-cat outside? Fuyuki: Look, if you’re gonna start singing, this friendship is over. *Keroro opens the door* Tiger Horse: Jesus loves the little chiiiil- *door’s shut* Keroro and Fuyuki: *Gasping* Natsumi: *Opens door, pissy* Hey Keroro, I’m bored. Make me angry at you. Keroro and Fuyuki: *Inverted breathing, open door* Tiger horse: All the *muffled* chilbrrhrrbrr… *closes door* Everyone: *Sighs* Natsumi: You better have an explanation for that… Tamama: *Wanders in* Hey guys! I brought you all cookies, but then I didn’t. It’s kind of a long story. So here’s a tray, I guess! Tiger Horse: Little girls. Little girls. *Door closes again* Natsumi: *Angry* As I was saying-! Keroro: Blame Kululu! He told me not to do something! Kind of a stupid move if you think about it. *Cuts to Kululu and Paul* Paul: *Slides in* Word from the stockholders is that your contributions have been most lucrative, sir. Kululu: *Sinister* Of course. This is Japan, and you don’t sell female urinals? Those idiots were begging to be bought out. Paul: If we continue at this rate, the Nishizawa Corporation will be the leading economic power in the world. Kululu: *Happy* It’s a wonderful day! Begin the daily puppy torching! Paul: At once, sir. *cough* *A fiery blast is heard* Paul: Do you think we should be using a different animal? Kululu: *Apathetic* Eh, make it a kitten next time. Who cares? *Cuts back to Keroro’s room* Fuyuki: I think I’ve figured it out. Maybe that thing only shows up after the door is closed. Natsumi: In that case, as long as the next person keeps the door open- Goddamnit, Mois! Dororo: Hey guys! *Pause* What’s going on-? Keroro: URGH! Anyway, where were we? Fuyuki: Maybe if we can contact Giroro, he can open it. Keroro: Uh, I agree Fuyuki, but you’re pointing at a post-… uuuuugh… *Starts using Morse code* Keroro: *Serious Keroro* Calling Mr. Lady. Why did the schoolgirl go to school? Copy. Why did the schoolgirl go to school? Giroro: I’m sure you love your little code, but you could just tell me what you want, you spaz. Keroro: *Sinister* You didn’t answer the joke. You know what happens to people who don’t answer my jokes. GO BE A HERO! *Throws Giroro* *Crashing and snarling is heard* Natsumi: *Pissed off* You – are – an asshole. Keroro: He knew the risks when he took this job…Wait, hang on. *Takes out DVD, crashing and snarling stops* Everyone: …Wow... *Gunshot is heard* Giroro: *Weak* And STAY DOWN! *Cuts to everyone in the living room, applause over TV, kazoo campaign anthem plays* Keroro: *Weary* Sgt Major Kululu? More like…Nice suit, Faggot! *Applause, camera pans up to Kululu* Kululu: *Rousing* Greetings, leaders of the world! *Steady note* Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeegh… *Everyone starts doing it in harmony* Kululu: Ahhh. Always wanted to do that. I quit! Peace, fuckers! *Kazoo jingle, cut to everyone in living room looking shocked* Dororo: Oh sorry, I sneezed. What’d I miss? It was a long fucking sneeze. Ha-ha! *Inhales* I don’t have a nose… *Credits played with kazoos* *Post-Credits 1- Kululu hanging up poster* Kululu: *Casual* Yeah, so I decided to collapse a major industry. I just got bored working there. Plus Paul had a cold and kept launching trees into my room. *Wanders off* But man, I’m tired; I need to check my stocks and stare at people. *Post-Credits 2- HQ* HQ: The platoon’s reports are in. Looks like they’re in need of a bit of backup in case things go awry. *Calling out* Let’s get that bioweapon sent out by O-800 hours! It may just be a prototype, but it should be more than enough for our little idiots. And somebody fix the coffee machine! I think it’s making me blind. Category:Episode Scripts